How does knowing my Communication Style help me?
One crucial element of communication is understanding how others perceive you. Most of us think of ourselves as competent communicators. We’ve been doing it since we were infants! Yet, unknown to most of us, we have developed a particular style of communication, and many others have different styles. From someone else’s perspective, your communication can look flawed, annoying, or even rude. T.E.A.M. Communication Styles® teaches you more about your own style, how it’s viewed by others, and what you can do to bridge this gap.
How does T.E.A.M. help emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence means acting constructively in response to your emotions as well as those of others around you. T.E.A.M. provides a road map to how others would like you to interact with them in a variety of situations. Consider it an emotional intelligence cheat sheet!
Is one communication style better than the others?
No individual style is better than the others. However, there are differences that we may not appreciate at first. The key is to understand that there are differences and if you can adapt to bridge them, you’ll be a much better communicator.
What can I do to better communicate with other styles?
The key is to share your communication preferences with them, take a guess at their preferences and point out the natural gaps. Not right or wrong, just different. Then talk about what you each can do to meet somewhere in the middle. The key is to see that they are not trying to be annoying, they are just a different style than you. They may find your style annoying as well. Starting with the trust that you are not trying to be difficult to the other will make this conversation much more successful.
Isn’t it limiting to label people by a single style?
People are more than a simple style. In fact, many people are a blend of styles and can use different styles in different contexts. The value of identifying these styles is that it provides a snapshot of how different people adapt to a specific situation (your workplace). They can be one way in one aspect of their job and another way in a different component. People can also be one way at work, another at home. The assessment is designed to capture your primary style at work to give you a perspective of how others may see you, and how you might need to adapt to better connect with different styles.
What good is taking the assessment if others in my workplace haven’t taken it or don’t believe it?
First, you gain great insights and perspectives that you might not have otherwise seen. And you receive a roadmap for improving communication with people you find difficult. That’s real value! Then, you can share the model with your co-workers to provide a non-judgmental framework to talk from, and without any judgment, you can describe your behavioral preferences and theirs to highlight the differences. Then you can talk about what you each might do to meet somewhere in the middle. It’s crucial that you describe their behavior in a positive or neutral manner. Every style has strengths, even if you find theirs annoying!
My manager has all 4 styles, how do I respond?
This is not impossible, but it is very rare. Most people have a more focused preference for one or two styles, but it can shift in different situations. As you interact with your supervisor or manager, watch their behaviors closely, especially how they communicate and what they seem to expect from you. See if any focused preference emerges. If not, and they truly have all four styles, you’re in luck because any approach you take should be acceptable to them! Notice your behavior as you communicate and see what your manager seems most and least appreciative of. Then try to focus on what they most appreciate, but know you have some latitude since they’re OK with all styles.
Can I use T.E.A.M. with my kids?
T.E.A.M. was designed for adults. Some children have a very clear T.E.A.M. style early on and in those cases, it could be a helpful model to use when talking with them. Other children’s styles are in flux and trying to identify one style or another could be more harmful than helpful. The assessment itself is designed for people with some experience in the work world, so it would not be useful to use with children or young teens.
Why is my life partner’s style so different from mine? Wouldn’t it be easier if people paired up by styles?
It would be easier, but kind of boring! The key is to recognize the good side of this, your partner brings strength to your weaknesses and vice versa. Together you can make a great team.
Can understanding Communication Styles help in families or with friends?
T.E.A.M. is workplace oriented, but it can be helpful with the adults in your life outside work. In many relationships where peoples’ styles are very different, seeing them through the T.E.A.M. filter can take some of the sting out of conflicts and replace it with curiosity about how to better bridge the gap.
The report said I have only one style. I see myself in most of the styles.
That is true. No one is solely one style. We are all a blend, but most people are more strongly focused in a particular style or two. The purpose of the T.E.A.M. assessment is to help you see your most common preferences and how these might differ from others. In addition, perhaps the biggest value of T.E.A.M. styles is getting a sense of others’ styles, so you will be better able to approach and connect with others more effectively.
The assessment is correct, I’m an A at work, but at home, I’m an E. How can that be?
Your T.E.A.M. assessment shows your “style”, not your personality type. Your personality doesn’t change much, but your communication style changes as you adapt your personality to different contexts. You may be an A style at work where you are dealing with a lot of data or projects that require close precision, but at home you’re an E style, enjoying socializing and perhaps being the life of the party! Our guess is that E is closer to your personality, and A is an adaptation you made to be successful at work.
I used to be an A at work but the assessment says I’m a T. How can my style change?
Your T.E.A.M. style can change based on circumstances. You may have been an A style at work and then the nature of the work changed and you had to get more done, or a new manager had a T style and you adapted to her. There may have been other changes in circumstances where a good reaction was to shift more to a T style and you did!
I’m an E but my job requires me to be a T right now, keeping my head down and cranking out the work. I’m not very happy about the change, what can I do?
Keep working at a T pace if that’s what is required, but bring more E into your environment. Be sure to go to lunch and on breaks with people you enjoy. Find time outside work to socialize, brainstorm and have fun. See if you can get assigned to an interesting committee or task force that allows space for creativity and teamwork… and keep looking for other openings that might allow you to get back to being an E style.
My report isn’t accurate. It’s not me!
The report has proven to be highly accurate over thousands of uses. So first, step back and take a look. Did you complete the assessment as you are at work? Your style at home may be very different. T.E.A.M. is designed to assess and improve workplace communications. Or maybe you answered the assessment with what you thought were the “right” answers, rather than how you actually act and feel. Talk to some co-workers or your supervisor to see how they describe your behavior. If after all this, you feel the report is still inaccurate, let us know and we’ll help you take it again with some more specific instructions.
How can I begin a conversation about communication styles with someone who is difficult to talk with? This would be a difficult conversation!
Begin by describing yourself, and what you learned about yourself from the assessment. Highlight your communication preferences, especially those you think they won’t share. Then, tentatively share what you think the other person might prefer – framing it positively (e.g. not – “you’re rude and abrupt”, but “you speak your mind clearly and directly”; or not “you worry too much and ask too many questions” but “you really focus on quality and collect a lot of information before making a decision.”) This can be very hard, so sketch it out in advance! The other person should feel complimented, not criticized… and it should also become clear that these differing preferences could easily clash. So it’s important to follow up by saying something like, “Our preferences are really different and can cause friction. I’m going to try to adapt to be more like you when we interact, and if you could meet me part way by being more like me, I think we would have a more comfortable work relationship.” The other person may not be willing to change at all, but at least they may now see some of your actions that they found annoying in a new light, and you may have some room to comment more constructively on things they do that you find annoying.
How can I get people to treat me the way I want to be treated if they are not familiar with T.E.A.M.? I’m an M and it feels weird to ask them to be more social at work, but that’s important to me.
Self-awareness is the first step. Learning to share it with others in a comfortable way is next. Own the core value of the M and share that. Try something like “I like to connect with people at work on a human level. Work is important and we both do a good job, but it’s also important to be a strong team. I believe people work together better when they know each other better. What are some things you do in your spare time that you enjoy?”
We learned about T.E.A.M. at work and my coworker who is a T now feels he has a license to be rude and disrespectful just because “that’s what T’s do”. What can I do?
T’s (or any of the four styles) can be rude and disrespectful and that is NOT acceptable. What we talk about with T.E.A.M. is that T’s can appear to be rude and disrespectful when they are trying to be efficient and helpful! The key is their intention – are they intending to be hurtful? If so, you need to confront them directly. If you feel hurt and disrespected, you can share that with them. If they respond, “I’m a T, get over it,” you can suggest that you’d both get along better at work if the two of you recognized your differences and adjusted to meet in the middle.
My co-worker talks all the time and jokes around. I find it hard to concentrate. What can I do?
Your co-worker is probably an E. If they are a good worker, they may be prioritizing engagement with others and making work an enjoyable place, along with doing their work. It may be helpful to share the T.E.A.M. model with them. Describe your style and preferences. Then note that they may have very different preferences and the goal is to figure out a way to get along without annoying each other. Ask if they have any suggestions.
My supervisor is very critical and is a perfectionist. He shoots down ideas before we have time to investigate them. He is quick to criticize and is almost never complimentary. I work hard, but I’m not perfect and I’m getting worn down from all the criticism.
Your supervisor is probably the A style and he values very high-quality work. He doesn’t want to try new things until he is confident they will work. He may be trying to help you increase the accuracy of your work by commenting only when your work isn’t up to his standard. This is not a very pleasant approach, but if you assume he’s trying to be helpful and talk with him, it may be easier to find a constructive way through the discussion. The T.E.A.M. model helps you explain the value you place on work relationships and that positive feedback is important to you. You want to hear where you are getting it right so you can bring that quality to all of your work. Share the value you place in being creative and that you’d like to have opportunities to try out new ideas to see how they work before they get dismissed.
I have an employee who never speaks up in meetings. I ask for their input and they look away. But out on the floor, she’s always talking to someone. She has good ideas. How can I get her to contribute?
There’s a good chance your employee is an M. She likes to connect with others while she works and talks freely with people she is comfortable with. She also likes to avoid conflict and when you ask her opinion in the meeting, she avoids answering because she is aware that others may have a very different opinion. Take time to talk with her during the regular work day about non-work topics and ask her opinion in one on one settings. Gradually, if you support her, she’ll become more comfortable speaking up in meetings.
