People with the T or Tell Style find it more challenging than most to listen effectively and give a certain kind of feedback. T is one of four core styles of the T.E.A.M. Communication Styles® model which helps people communicate more effectively.
What’s Challenging for a T?
T’s are fast paced thinkers and speakers. They focus on the task and their talk is about task. They generally prefer to work alone and keep conversations short. While this can be efficient in getting work done, it does present some challenges.
1. The Challenge of Listening
We’ve discussed earlier how crucial skilled listening is. This is a critical challenge for T’s. They are eager to move to action, so they tend to listen only to the first part of a message, and fill in the rest from their knowledge. They stop listening and don’t always get the meaning right.
The Solution:
If you’re a T:
- Take a moment to slow the conversation
- Check if the person has said all the important points.
- Before you end, ask a question or two to confirm.
- And check out our article on asking questions for tips on how to do this most effectively!
If you are speaking with a T, be careful – they don’t listen very long.
- Think before you speak.
- Get important points in quickly and concisely.
- Speak in bullets.
- If you have an important point to add, highlight it.
2. The Challenge of Giving Feedback (It’s not what you think!)
This challenge comes from the T’s strong focus on the task and less on the people with whom they work. T’s actually have no problem giving critical or negative feedback. Their challenge is giving positive feedback!
- Many T’s find praise unhelpful or even patronizing.
- Some actual quotes from T’s in my classes:
“I know I did a good job and enough said.”
“Who does my boss think he is to tell me I did a good job? I know what I did.”
“I don’t want to waste my staff’s time with praise. I just tell them when they’re doing something wrong, so they get it right the next time.”
“If you are giving me positive feedback, you must think I’m weak and need to hear that. I find that patronizing.”
As a result, T’s tend to not praise others, treating others as they want to be treated. The wisdom of T.E.A.M. is that others may want to be treated very differently!
If you are a T, It’s important to understand:
- Most people value genuine positive feedback
- They like hearing it fairly often.
- Work relationships are very important to others.
- Ignoring relationships can feel disrespectful and dismissive to them.
The Solution
To be a good team player or an effective leader, take time every day to notice:
- what people are doing well
- how they’ve been helpful
and let them know that!
- Be sincere and specific.
- “Thanks” and “Good job” are ok, but more effective is:
- Identify the specific behavior someone performed and
- The positive impact of that behavior. (say it even if it’s obvious)
- Give it often! Much more than you think is helpful.
For example: “Thanks so much for helping that customer. You took time to hear their concerns and responded in a way that met their needs. They left happy which is important!”
It’s a lot of words, but it rings more true than “nice job with that customer” which is probably all a T might want to hear. Others want more.
And There is More!
Hi T’s – keep reading! You’re not done yet!
After you deliver the feedback:
- Continue to pay attention – listen. Don’t give it and run!
- If it lands right the person will show their appreciation. Give them their moment.
- If it’s too much, they’ll let you know that as well.
Learn each person’s preference for feedback. One size does not fit all.
If you interact with T’s
- Be aware that their lack of positive feedback:
- May not mean they don’t think highly of you.
- It just may mean they don’t think highly of positive feedback.
- If your supervisor is a T, it’s ok to let them know:
- you value feedback
- you’d like to hear their assessment of your work, especially when it’s positive!
- (Send them this article!)
Most T’s will feel overloaded by now, so we’ll stop here.
The important message is:
Treat others the way you want to be treated, and you will be treating some of them very poorly.
The Solution:
Treat people the way they want to be treated. (Golden Rule 2.0®)
This is very challenging, but critical to building a strong team.
T’s can produce great productivity and keep a team moving, but they can also demoralize a team if they’re not sensitive to differences in style. Not sure what your style is? Take the test and get your report.
Email me if you’re a T and need more explanation, or if you’re dealing with a T and need more strategies: alan@teamcommunicationstyles.com or read more about the styles here.
